So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I wish there were birth control emojis
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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