There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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