who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I need a hoe opinion
go on
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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