i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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