Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
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So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
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Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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