I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
