Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
