I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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