have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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