I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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