Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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