Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Come on in and take your pants off
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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