pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Green mimosas i think yes
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
