I understand Curling. That high.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
