Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
