when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
