Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
