Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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