So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
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There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
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It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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