How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
sarcasm needs its own font
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
