I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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