I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
