Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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