yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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