Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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