Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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