just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
