If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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