I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
