it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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