he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
