It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
