she looked like the before picture.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
we should paint friendship bongs
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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