Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize