if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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