Please, let me fuck your mom
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
