I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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