the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
