she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize