I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
