Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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