hell yes lets make some ravioli
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
