summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
i think i just lost a toe
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
