so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
