Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
