How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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