Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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