the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
