i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
