I must be too annoying 4 u.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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