I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
