with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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