just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Someone came in the potted fern
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
