There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize