with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You may now shotgun with the bride
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
