five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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