we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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