When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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