Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
